Cheap electric guitars |
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The paintings are small and painted on irregular plywood-offcuts. The dimensions are in inches and are accurate to the nearest ¼" one way or the other. They're sealed with a high quality matt UV proofing varnish so they won't fade, possibly not in my lifetime or even yours. They are signed, dated and titled on the back. They come with a piece of black waxed twine attached and are intended to be hung on a small nail. I should be flattered that people have put them in frames and sent me photos, but it's really not how I intend them to be. They're complete in their own simplicity and as they are.
Though Japan might be considered the spiritual birthplace of the cheap electric guitar some of these would appear to come from Soviet Russia, or the place I knew back in the safe, prosaic England of the 1970s under the general term Behind The Iron Curtain.
Some of these instruments bear more resemblance to bouzoukis, balalaikas and and other exotic instruments from places where they write the alphabet backwards with half the letters arse-about-face.
They don’t look much like the tools of toe-tapping Merseybeat.
I found one not so long ago in a place called Tony’s Guitar & Fishing Tackle, a vast and dusty emporium of modern junk somewhere between Orlando and Jacksonville down in Florida. Guns, rifles, flat screen TVs, fishing rods and the occasional Hondo Les Paul copy.The general shape and design of these things owes much to the distorting lens of an espionage camera, the result being an approximation of a teenbeat icon created by a Soviet industrialist.
The neck is coming away from the body.
It’s never been played - it’s practically unplayable having spent most of its life gathering dust in a basement or an attic, a sad testament to shoddy workmanship and the failure of another dream.
Tony of Tony’s Guitar & Fishing Tackle tells me it’s an antique, a curio:
"These are very rare - you could hang it on the wall as a talking point - you wouldn’t play it of course, though a lot of the pro guys are buying these up and using them on their recordings…"
Some of these instruments bear more resemblance to bouzoukis, balalaikas and and other exotic instruments from places where they write the alphabet backwards with half the letters arse-about-face.
They don’t look much like the tools of toe-tapping Merseybeat.
I found one not so long ago in a place called Tony’s Guitar & Fishing Tackle, a vast and dusty emporium of modern junk somewhere between Orlando and Jacksonville down in Florida. Guns, rifles, flat screen TVs, fishing rods and the occasional Hondo Les Paul copy.The general shape and design of these things owes much to the distorting lens of an espionage camera, the result being an approximation of a teenbeat icon created by a Soviet industrialist.
The neck is coming away from the body.
It’s never been played - it’s practically unplayable having spent most of its life gathering dust in a basement or an attic, a sad testament to shoddy workmanship and the failure of another dream.
Tony of Tony’s Guitar & Fishing Tackle tells me it’s an antique, a curio:
"These are very rare - you could hang it on the wall as a talking point - you wouldn’t play it of course, though a lot of the pro guys are buying these up and using them on their recordings…"
It's has one knob too many, a collection of inexplicable switches, a tone control that turns the volume down, four rusty strings and one missing machine head. It's based on neither a Fender, a Gibson, a Gretch or a Rickenbacker but somehow it's an amalgamation of every guitar ever made. It's big and clunky and doesn't look quite right, and even though it's cheap common sense tells you to leave it behind. But it's seductive - charming in its charmlessness. It's going to clutter up the house and clutter up your life but it comes complete with a tolex covered cardboard case with a grimy checkerboard patterned interior and broken catches, and you've just got to have it.
The Lada, the Honda or the Nissan of the electric guitar world - a raised up chunk of scratchplate that could have come from the dashboard of a car from the same era, large cream plastic control knobs and a lever where there might normally be a switch to select different combinations of the four oversized pick-ups. It's a piece of junk that was quite possibly created from a bad drawing done from memory.
This one has no bridge or tailpiece but that's ok because it has a dyslexic f hole and no tuning pegs. It's a good looking beast - you could fix it up and hang it on your wall as a conversation stopper...
There are more out the back - we've got cheap drumkits too...
The Lada, the Honda or the Nissan of the electric guitar world - a raised up chunk of scratchplate that could have come from the dashboard of a car from the same era, large cream plastic control knobs and a lever where there might normally be a switch to select different combinations of the four oversized pick-ups. It's a piece of junk that was quite possibly created from a bad drawing done from memory.
This one has no bridge or tailpiece but that's ok because it has a dyslexic f hole and no tuning pegs. It's a good looking beast - you could fix it up and hang it on your wall as a conversation stopper...
There are more out the back - we've got cheap drumkits too...
Guitar chords
Ideal for the beginner or the seasoned pro who feels he may be losing his grip. Just hang it on the wall and start strumming...
I've always loved guitar chord diagrams. My sister had a book, Hold Down A Chord, which promised to teach you how to play folk music on the guitar. In my sister's case it failed. The back page had chord diagrams for the main chords in each key. I tore it off when she wasn't looking and learned all the chords: dominant, sub-dominant, tonic and minor. I was fourteen at the time, I haven't looked back.
I've often thought the small chord paintings could be used as a composing or songwriting aid but that would take a degree of organisation that I don't possess - I'm haphazard, even in the chords I choose to paint. These ones are more than fairly basic.
I've often thought the small chord paintings could be used as a composing or songwriting aid but that would take a degree of organisation that I don't possess - I'm haphazard, even in the chords I choose to paint. These ones are more than fairly basic.
Motivational series
Nice to look at but fully functional - let them know exactly where you stand and which hint they need to take with this range of motivational paintings. An ideal gift for most of the family!
Cheap drumkits
Ideal for the professional or amateur alike - wether you're a hobby musician or a seasoned pro with a diary full of tour dates you'll find the kit you need at Tony's Guitar & Fishing Tackle!
